Happy New Year!

Sorry its a bit late things have been quite hectic around here as of late.

Anyhoo, whats been happening well its been bitterly cold and its snowed...........whats the big deal you may ask? Well it appears that all local goverments where wholly unprepared for this and almost the whole of the country as ground to a stand still? All the shops are closed, the roads are empty (except for the abandoned cars) buses stopped running as too many were crashing into houses, all the schools are closed and last night our local hospital put out a statement that unless it was life or death there would be no ambulances. Bloody ridiculous

What a wonderful holiday, I didn't quite manage the stress free version that I was aiming for but it was so much better than last year. The children had a blast and we had a proper family day. I can't remember a better Christmas :)

Christmas!

Well my countdown has finally begun! I woke up this morning with a strong urge to scrub the house, bake thousands of biscuits and to push complete strangers over in the high street......... oh don't you just love Christmas?

I've decided to break the habit of a life time. I will not stress about every little thing this year and half kill myself trying to make it 'perfect'. I will not get myself into debt and I will not be leaving ALL the wrapping until Christmas Eve.

It is 5am here which means it is officially my youngest sons 1st birthday………………..so for me this is a time of reflection.
I am grateful that my hubby and I have managed to survive Leo’s first year without killing each other.
This year we’ve experienced many highs and lows including severe sleep deprivation, postnatal depression, post traumatic stress syndrome, swine flu and our eldest being tested for Aspergers. We’ve had many arguments and I’ve nearly run away many times (literally- Postnatal depression) but we’re still standing and surprisingly still talking/laughing at each other.
I’m grateful for Terry (hubby)for looking after me during my craziness and for all the support he gave to my decision to breastfeed for the first year (I found it VERY difficult at times) I wouldn’t have stuck to it without him.
I’m grateful for my eldest Joshua who has been a star with Leo since he came home from the hospital and is the best big brother for Leo that I could of wished for.
And I’m very grateful for my wonderful little Leo, who no matter how bad I’m feeling can always bring a smile to my face or a tear to my eye.
I’m also very grateful that I’m still here. (sorry if that sounds over dramatic, but its true lol )

I haven't been out of the house for almost 2 weeks. No reason in particular just not felt up to it, but I had an appointment with Anita (therapist) today and when it came to actually leaving the house I felt sick and breathless. I tried to calm down but my stomach was in knots, so I just sat on the stairs and cried. I feel like such an idiot.

I've got to go out tomorrow with Terry to visit family and pick up a couple of things from the shops, hopefully I won't feel so bad with him there for support.

I'm feeling much better today, my wonderful fella watched the kids all day so I could rest and catch up on some much needed sleep. All thats left to do is curl up on the sofa with a cup of tea and the new episode of Dr Who.

Its 5am and I'm feeling really low and emotional. I've got so much to do and there are people relying on me and I just can't face any of it. I want to cry I'm so exhausted